1. Get your weapon. In my case, it's probably the heavy shovel I use in the basement to kill crickets. Don't worry if you don't have a gun; you'll get one later.

2. Find Jaimee. (Your answer may vary.)

3. Contact whoever you think won't have gotten the message. Tell them the dead have risen and to get the hell out of there. Let them know where you're going, if you want to. Otherwise, don't. While you're doing this, Jaimee or whoever should be packing whatever food, water, and supplies you can transport easily. Keep in mind, electricity will be useless, if it isn't already.

4. Find whoever you care about who you think won't be able to get out of town on their own, and let them go with you. (One or two people, max, please. You'll need the car space. By the way, if you don't have a car, steal one.)

5. Get the hell out of town. You'll want to be far away from any population centers. If you can, rob a grocery store and/or a gun store on the way. If they've already been nicely robbed, keep going; you'll find an unspoiled one eventually.

Don't be too obsessed with getting a gun, either. You don't know what will actually kill a zombie, assuming they can even really be killed at all. A sword would really be ideal, or failing that, a baseball bat.

6. I like the idea of heading to the coast and finding a nice off-shore island to wait out the zombie infestation, but of course the downside there is that if the zombies do manage to get to your island, you're screwed. Maybe an isthmus would be good. But the best position would probably just be a highly defensible mountain peak. Zombies aren't going to want to climb for food -- and even if they try, your mountain peak is highly defensible.

7. Steal liberally from the ruins of civilization. But always travel in pairs.

8. Be extremely untrusting. In the zombie-ridden apocalyptic world of the future, other humans can be just as evil as zombies, with the added advantage of not being brain-dead. Plus they may be carriers of zombieism who haven't turned yet. You don't want to be total loners, but you should always sleep with one eye open. After all, the apocalypse is other people.

Did I miss anything?

(Just answering this great post on Ask MetaFilter, where you can also find out "Is there a way to gently steer someone away from constant Simpsons or Monty Python quoting?" Answer: apparently not.

As far as I can tell, my group of friends has completely gotten over this affliction by a) never watching The Simpsons anymore and b) distilling all remaining useful Simpsons quotables into communal meme packets that ignore the source material completely. For instance, I still say "Smell you later" to everyone, but never explain why. Whether or not this makes me more or less unpleasant than a mere excessive-Simpsons-quoter is left as an exercise to the reader.

Oh, and I've never quoted from Monty Python. People who do are huge, huge nerds. That's all there is to it.)