Recently, I had the good fortune to spend some time away from Backwards City. I chose to spend most of this time in international airports. After carefully studying the lifeforms that congregate in these hubs, I have prepared my observations of various species, categorized by their dominant emotion:

Indignant Rage:
When airport stewardess (see Lonely Malaise) asks child-sized shape to stop rubbing his pelvis on the seat beside him, child-sized shape will respond with indignant rage. Features include *bulging eyes *arrogant disbelief *ruddy cheeks *profanity

Lonely Malaise:
The most common airport species, this hearty breed is often seen smoking outside the terminal (in designated areas). When disheveled businessman (see Impotent Disdain) asks to switch his aisle seat, uniform-clad shape will respond with a blank stare and explain that the flight is very full, because it is booked to capacity, which makes it very full. Features include *bright make-up *eerie, unwavering smile *divorce(s)

Impotent Disdain:
Just sort of sits there and rolls its corpulent eyes. Features include *Americans *bad ties *bourbon *sweat stains (one hopes)

Look for upcoming travel writing involving more airport culture in imminent posts.