Apocalypto: Given the hype, I actually came away disappointed by the level of ultraviolence. Sure, it was bloody, but somehow I was expecting something more. Also, the entire movie is two hours of setup for a thirty-second visual punchline; you'll know it when you see it, and you can probably guess what it will be, merely from the historical context.

Maria Full of Grace: The drug-running movie. We just watched it. The general consensus (sample size: four) seemed to be that it was pretty decent, but not much happened. I would add that the early scenes in Colombia were much better than the scenes in America, and that in general the movie got less and less interesting the longer it went on.

Talladega Nights: Even with the subtitles on, I couldn't make heads or tails of this thing.