Today I began the daunting process of attempting to fill my brain back up with all the philosophy and critical theory I've forgotten since graduating college. Luckily, I remember more than I feared I did; unluckily, I still have a lot to (re)learn. Step 1 was Jonathan Culler's excellent Literary Theory: A Very Short Introduction, which serves admirably as a quickie introduction or reintroduction to literary theory, depending on your needs. Step 2: Reread my personal favorite undergraduate newspaper column, a parody exegesis of my friend Eric's column, both columns prompted by our firm belief that nobody reads the student newspaper the weekend before spring break. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Knowledge.