The book I'm reading now is Chris Bachelder's Bear v. Shark, which I'd been dimly aware of before last week, but only ordered after hearing about it from this one guy at a party.

One thing I can say for sure -- it's incredibly bizarre. Told in extremely short chapters--you might very well call this a novel in short-shorts -- it's a story of the post-postmodern future, where televisions have no off switch and can read your mind. And there's one question that's on everybody's mind:

The question is simple, as are most profound questions.

Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a Shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win in a fight between a Bear and a Shark?

When the moment comes that this book has ceased to be parody because it accurately reflects the world of mass media and popular culture, do you think there will be anyone around who's still intelligent enough to notice?

Or has that moment already passed us by?

While you're around, don't forget to scope out the website that started it all. It appears to be down as of this writing (1:25 am Monday), but it'll probably be up again soon. (EDIT: Now that it's up, I see it's a completely different website, for a band. The original website? I have no idea where that it is.)

(Interesting Sidebar: The acknowledgments for the book thanks an "extraordinary teacher" named Michael Parker. Is this the Michael Parker? Our Michael Parker? There's absolutely no way in the world we could ever possibly find out the answer to that question.)

I'll let you know how things turns out. I already know who won the first bout, because that's not what this novel is about. No, this novel is about Bear v. Shark II, The Sequel: Darwin's Duel, Surf Against Turf, Lungs vs Gills in the Neon Desert for All the Marbles. The stakes, truly, have never been higher.

I'll tell you this: My head says Shark. But my heart -- my heart is with the Bear.